Isn’t it funny how, even in the midst of everything going perfectly well, the tiniest bump in the road can make us feel like our entire plan has just been thrown off the back of a horse?
As much as I fancy myself spontaneous, the truth is: I like plans. I enjoy structure. I come from a family that plans Christmas as far back as May, and I love them for it. I have three calendars: one on my kitchen wall, a day planner, and my virtual Outlook calendar, and I use all three to stay organized and on top of things. I really enjoy being able to look out a week, two weeks, a month, and see what I’ve got scheduled. I find a lot of comfort in that.
Of course, life doesn’t always let us do things that way. God’s got a funny way of letting us plan out our futures, and then sneaking in there and saying, “That’s nice and all, but what about if this happens?” And, of course, before He lets us think about it, that has already happened, and our perfectly planned out lives have gone haywire.
Or, at least, that’s how it feels for me, a lot of the time.
But what I’m slowly, but surely, learning is: haywire is not necessarily a bad thing.
In fact, much of the time, what we see as the result of something unexpected happening is actually the wonderful thing that had been waiting for us all along. We just had to stop planning ahead long enough to see what was already happening.
Other times (or, often, at the same time), the result of the unexpected is very much what should have been happening in the first place. It’s so easy to look at our idea of how our lives should go, and completely disregard what God, or fate, or whatever form of guidance you look towards, already has in the works.
I am very much experiencing the latter right now. This season for me has been a little bit trying, as I’ve been grappling with what is expected of me, and what I want for my life at this moment. Taking other people’s opinions out of it has been difficult, but as my best friend reminded me: “If you’re happy somewhere, be happy. Forget whoever questions it.”
And you know what?
I am happy.
I am blissfully, stupidly, unexpectedly happy. This might not be the same happiness I once planned on experiencing at this point in my life, but it is undeniably so, so, so much sweeter… because I have relinquished control, and I am trusting that this is exactly how it’s supposed to be, right now.
Who cares if it’s not “according to plan”?
The plan is meant to be changed, anyway.