Contentment

I’ve been thinking a lot about contentment lately. I suppose it’s a normal thing for me to be thinking, considering how generally content I have been with my life these past few months.

But, because life is funny that way, my overwhelming contentment has also led me to question it a little bit.

Full disclaimer: by questioning it, I don’t want anyone to think I’m overthinking this. I have a bad habit of overthinking everything… until lately. And I think my lack of overthought and my general peace with life are going hand in hand.

Instead, my questioning comes more from a place of wondering what has allowed me to feel this general happiness and peace now, why I couldn’t always find that at previous times in my life, and how I can work to ensure this attitude sticks around.

And the answer?

Trust.

Matthew 6:25 says “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?” 

I’ve thought about this a lot lately.

One of my struggles with faith has always been trusting in God’s plan. I’ve talked about this before – I always want to know what He’s up to, and I want to know if I agree with it. But as I’ve worked to let go of that need to control my life, a life that He is really meant to plan, I’ve found so much peace in what is put on my path.

I think an obvious part of why I am so prone to overthinking every detail of every situation is because I like to be in control. But trying to be in control and trusting the Lord aren’t compatible activities. In fact, the only thing I should be trying to control is my trust in God’s plan, and that is what I’ve been working towards every day.

And guess what?

It’s working.

Instead of focusing on the “Big Picture” and trying to plan “What Comes Next,” I’ve been focusing on finding contentment in the little things. I relish in the feeling of my cat purring on my chest, or the smell of coffee roasting. I close my eyes and listen to the pitter-patter of the rain when it’s just barely sprinkling, and peek out at the sun that’s still shining through the clouds.

I’ve tried to purge the negative and unnecessary from my life. Even if it means never knowing what that person I no longer talk to is up to on Instagram, it frees up space in my day and my heart to focus on the positive. I’ve worked towards forgiving people, and myself, for little things that really don’t matter in the long run… and even for some bigger things that I’ve been continuously holding on to. What happened in the past, has happened. Even the mistakes I’ve made have led me to this place and this moment. And as for the mistakes I’m bound to make in the future? Well, those will all be a part of the journey, too.

I’ve put my effort into being present, into being here and now, instead of focusing too much on there and then.

Contentment is more than having everything you’ve ever wanted; in fact, I don’t think it would be there even if that was the case. Contentment, to me, is about trusting that everything you need will be provided… somehow, someway. He’s got His plan, and He loves us. Trust that. Trust Him. Find peace.

It’s working for me, at least.

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